Now that Fifty Shades of Grey is so popular, all of the media is talking about sex and sex toys. Are you curious about trying them but are too embarrassed? Are you unsure whether they are right for you and your relationship?
The following are some common misconceptions about adult toys:
Most people don’t use sex toys
Wrong! Many respectable people use adult toys, including people most would consider perfectly normal. Using an adult toy doesn’t make you “odd” or doesn’t say anything negative about your relationship. It just helps you have fun more fun in the bedroom! You don’t have to share with your friends, your boss or your mother that you use toys unless anyone unless you want to.
Sex toys are just for masturbation
While adult toys are commonly used for masturbation, many couples enjoy using toys together, whether they are female or male or heterosexual or homosexual. Usually these couples are comfortable trying new things together, are open-minded, and trusting.
Your partner will feel inadequate if you start using a sex toy
Are you nervous that if you bring an adult toy into the bedroom, it will hurt your partner’s feelings? An adult toy can give you an orgasm, but it can’t tell you how much they love you or rub your back. An object is not a substitute for a real person. If your lover has this fear, be sensitive and stroke his or her ego a little bit. As with most relationship issues, good communication is key.
Using sex toys can be physically dangerous
In fact, adult toys can have very positive effects on your sexual health.
For example, many doctors and therapists recommend adult toys to women who have trouble reaching orgasm; if you suffer from painful sex, vibrators can stimulate blood flow; all women can benefit from kegel exercisers or kegel balls to tone the pelvic floor muscles; prostate massagers reduce the risk of prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction and frequent night time urination. Lastly, orgasms help you live longer, block pain and, some say, look younger. Who wouldn’t want that?
If you use sex toys too much, you won’t have an orgasm with your partner.
If your partner is afraid you’ll replace him or her with your favourite toy, promise him or her that you’ll always keep things different in the bedroom: try different positions, new toys, light bondage and fantasy play.
If your relationship is healthy, there’s no reason why you should need a sex toy.
You are so lucky to have a healthy relationship. However, who wouldn’t want to make their relationship even stronger and closer by sharing a new experience? If your lover is insistent about not wanting to use an adult toy to spice up your sex life, assure him or her that you don’t need an adult toy either, you’d just like to try one.
You or your partner is afraid of feeling pleasure
Pleasure is a birth right. Everyone deserves it and should have it. Own your sexuality and do what works for you. After all, orgasms make you healthier and happier.
Buying sex toys can be really embarrassing especially because they look gross and scary.
You are right. Now, thanks to the Internet, you can shop in the comfort of your own home without judgement. Most adult toys make you feel uncomfortable because they are usually phallic or cheesey or are so loud that you think your children or neighbour might hear what you are up to. Luxury sex toys are just the opposite. You might not even realize that they are high quality adult toys because they look like art. They are now so discreet and quiet that no one will know what you are up to.
These arguments might make sense and work for most people but might not work for you. If that’s the case, here are 3 more reasons to try out sex toys:
Pleasure = Sex Toys
Who is not a fan of orgasms? You might be too tired or too busy to have sex, but there’s no denying that orgasms feel good. Adult toys can help you have more orgasms. What’s wrong with that?
Sex Toys are Fun.
Whether you have been with your lover for a few months or many years, things might be a little stale and you want to try something new. That’s OK – you are not alone! Adult toys can add excitement to the bedroom and keep things from getting mundane. Using an adult toy together can bring you closer; sharing new experiences together can be very intimate.
Sex Toys Make Sex Better
Did you know that about 30% of women actually have an orgasm during sex? Most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. Meanwhile, many men have trouble sustaining their erections as long as they would like, whether it be because of age, medication or stress. That’s what adults toys are for!
If you are now ready to start using adult toys, here are a few suggestions to get started:
Start slow by starting out with something small. Start with a small toy and show your lover that the toy is all about adding more pleasure and excitement to the bedroom. For example, if you want to try a vibrator, start with something that’s small and discreet, like a finger vibrator or vibrating egg. If you want to try light bondage, try a blindfold or holding your lover’s hands above their head during foreplay.
When you are ready, work your way up to something bigger and bolder.
Above all else, remember that communication is the key to any healthy relationship. If you can’t share your feelings or desires, something is not right. Intimacy and fun are the main goal. It is entirely up to you to decide whether that means with or without sex toys, but experimentation never hurt anyone!